No man is born a rapist, murderer, or abuser. For others, the effects will last a lifetime and can ironically cause the complete opposite of what was intended, making men feel more insecure than they ever should be.Įven when discussing extreme examples, like young men in juvenile hall, this documentary does an amazing job of making you understand that these men all start out as innocent, fun, emotional boys.
For some boys, the effects may be silent and go unnoticed – something as “simple” as bottling things up inside. What’s so captivating about The Mask You Live In – and the reason that every parent of a boy needs to watch this – is that it really does hit close to home. So often, in fact, that many incidents of rape, and even murder, go unreported and unpunished. But when a video game paints a realistic picture of a mass shooting or an internet search for a naked woman returns a rape scene, the mind of a child is forever changed – and expectations for what a “real man” is begins to shift even more.Īnd finally, the documentary presents the culmination of this lifetime of pressure to “be a man.” Something we sadly see too often in what the documentary refers to as today’s rape and gun culture.Īnd while no one would ever believe that their son could turn into a rapist or murderer, it is happening far too often. On the surface, video games – and even pornography – may not be inherently evil. But there are other societal norms that raise these unrealistic expectations for our boys and The Mask You Live In tackles them next – video games and pornography. While sports may be an introduction to society’s expectation of boys, they certainly aren’t the most harmful culprit and truth be told, a lot of good still comes from them. And it is often these impressionable moments in sports that begin a shift in boys that lead them towards the tough, silent, unemotional, and strong men that society wants them to become. That’s what sports ought to be about.”īut for some, it just isn’t. I coached to help boys become men of empathy and integrity who can be responsible and change the world for good. After all, sports are healthy and they pull our kids away from the “evils” of the internet.īut could sports actually be harming our boys? Are expectations too high and unreasonable? And more importantly, do we allow things to happen in a sports context that we would never allow elsewhere? Even allowing coaches to cross lines that would otherwise be uncrossable?Īs Joe Ehrmann, one of the main narrators in The Mask You Live In puts it: “If you’re going to be a transformational coach, you need to know what you’re transforming. Boys that are strong at sports are elevated by their peers, we consider them to be more well-rounded, and adjusted. The Mask You Live In addresses sports first.
But somehow, issues that strongly plague boys and young men (like suicide, gun violence, and aggression) are growing, not shrinking. And they do a startling good job of proving their point.Īs a society, we have made huge strides when it comes to offering equal opportunities for both our boys and girls. You may think that you aren’t or that you’ve somehow avoided it, but the reality is that the vast majority of us CAN’T avoid gender stereotyping…because we live in a society that does it for us.Īt least, that’s the stance that The Mask You Live In takes. The Mask You Live In…Or Make Your Child Live Inįrom the earliest moments, we unintentionally tie strong gender stereotypes to our children. For more information, see our disclosure policy.
Some links on this page many contain affiliate links. Subscribe to our email list for notifications of new documentaries and what you should be watching! But if you do have kids – and especially if you have boys – you need to stop what you’re doing and move this parenting documentary to the top of your Netflix queue.īecause it will change the way you raise them. The Mask You Live In looks at that very issue – and provides some very startling conclusions.Įven if you don’t have children, this is a powerful documentary. But are we unknowingly putting extreme pressure on them to be the very opposite? What hidden messages is society sending us when it comes to raising our boys? Men that love their children and spouses, feel confident, and love themselves. We all want our boys to grow up to be respectful and happy adults.
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